drizzle.

it's half raining, half not. Eddie's going away tonight until late Saturday night, I'm happy. I'm happy that he can go off with his friends, and I'm happy to have some time alone, tomorrow I plan on heading to Barnes & Noble early before I have work...picking up a new spine and cracking into it. I'm feeling more and more alive, I think. It's hard to explain, happiness, seems to have that affect on me, as does growing older. I'm breathing deeper and my eyes are wider. Maybe it's the bike rides lately, maybe my bones are finally warming up after this miserable winter. Miserable only in temperature, not in experiences.

Florida in a week, could not be looking forward to this more. Still debating on how I'm going to spend my day off on Saturday, hungover no doubt...but I think depending on the weather it will be spent outside reading in the sun or inside cozied up with my babies and my new book. Oh yeah! I have Dracula for the weekend, starting tonight! Lil baby boy. The ghetto is a good friend to those he keeps around, I've grown fond of him..among others. WEIRD, speaking of. I just got a text about it from him. hahaha, so weird. Having the french doors open in my bedroom all day yesterday was such a tease, all I can hear is the rain on the tin roof.

I went to text you something awful the other night, not awfully mean, but awful as in awfully funny. Sometimes I still think you're the only one that gets certain things, I just think you're so focused on being unhappy or things going wrong..even if things are smooth, one thing can't be right. I stopped holding the grudge, I am sorry I made you feel like we were a competition, and I don't stress all the lies. I'm okay with it, I'm not bitter and that sense of betrayal didn't linger. Things happen. Lots of things have happened, I'm not sure if it's better you aren't around for them or not. I don't miss having a best friend near me really. I am content alone. Everything is easier, just sometimes I know there are things only you would appreciate. I didn't really miss you until I went to text you and realized what I was doing. Everything changes, everything progresses...in one way or many. I hope progression for you, always.

"all at once we were madly, clumsily, shamelessly, agonizingly in love with each other, hopelessly..."

I couldn't be more in love with someone, I couldn't be more happy with one single person.

"all my heart, always."