1234

I'm happy, I know this works. I also know what doesn't work. Anyway, my plan until next May revolves around saving money, as much money as possible. And letting other things slip by because I know they just aren't worth it anymore.


moving forward.

So

One more day in Portland, tomorrow is going to be biking through Sauvee's Island; my favorite part of every trip. Last year it was in the fall, October..the best carmel apples I've ever had the pleasure of biting into. I'm so full of Thai food, omnom. On my second season of Dexter..fifth episode, I have to get through these while I can. I leave Oregon at five thirty am (west coast time) on Wed. morning, I arrive at six fifteen pm, Florida..east coast time. Got a cute dress today and a new grandma sweater, thanks moms. Why couldn't I have been born with an english accent!???!!

I ran into a french bulldog puppy today, died. Made me miss my babies. It gets so cold here at night, I can't wait to get to Georgia at the end of September for the wedding the weather will be so nice. Called my pops yesterday, everytime I hang up with him I cry, it's just really hard to talk to him.



Farmville on facebook is slaughtering my time while I watch Dexter.

pixxx blog

just because I'm waiting for food and my usb cord is not in Portland with me, so random pictures from my phone while I catch up on my favorite serial killer Dexterrrr. Oh yeah, I cut more bangs...still debating.

Dear Doctor Suess, Why did you leave your dog at the seven eleven?

Sleepless nights with loud neighbors.

nomomnomonom

Painted my nails to replicate sixth grade at the skating rink, an existance I never knew.
So much sushi, SOOOO much sushi.




The picture I was talking about from the antique store. 1920's thank you for this keepsake.


Onto the bangs;

I can't wait till my hair touches my middle back again.

Spent

all day boating, without a drop of service. It's almost pathetic how ill I am about my phone, mostly because I know when it's back in the game I will be overwhelmed with texts and voicemails. The weather here is so nice, no humidity...wore a hoodie over my bathing suit, so awesome. Watching reruns of Friends never gets old, ever. Like every male I know hates this show...I just can not get behind that. I got a lot of trout and okay heregoess....I got really sad being up close and personal with the fish..at first I was all gung ho look out fish. But I ripped the lip off my third one and saw blood and I half felt like god, what the fuck am I doing? That's so weird of me....but I caught more, I love fishing...I suck..

Walked Wilson this morning before we went sailing and I stepped in his shit, I should have known today would be a "grumpy baby" day.
Pms is a real shitshow....hahahahahahahaha god that shouldnt have made me laugh like it did.


Oh yeah, hospital day before yesterday to see the specialist...had to swallow this stuff that's natural element is rock.....basically this fell out of my mouth after hearing that;
" Oh? cool Doc so you basically just said I will have wet cement slushing around my small intestine? Why don't you ask your nurse friends if they want to make a footprint and signature before it dries up....INSIDE OF ME!"
I'll leave you with that.

antiquing.

Found a cast iron boston terrior door stop, 42$ christmas present.
Came across a picture from 1921, a girl of about eight hugging a boston terrier on the front stairs to a house. Cha Ching. A few momentos from the trip so far, when my mother and I get together it's days and days of antiquing. I don't hate it, that's forsure.

Just had my tarot cards read, I call horseshit....Anyway..woke up to this;

"fuck you" "mother fuck you" "I hate myself everyday" " I need to stop loving you" I really won't go on..but it started my day off on the wrong foot, or what I used to refer to as the wrong side of the bed... you know, because there IS a wrong side of the bed when you've shared it with someone for years. It's a horrible empty, gut wrenching feeling; that has finally made it's way out of my heart. " I built this life and now it's mine."
I'm accident prone, in more ways than one.


One chapter of my life, done.

The second one;

I miss my dogs and my boyfriend. But I do love being here with my family. Sailing all day tomorrow, I finally get to see the newest sailboat. But I'm hoping to steer the old one, she's my favorite. Twenty third St on Friday aka shopping ALL day, thanks moms. The weekend will be spent at the beach house in Washington......aka crab everynight nomomnom.

I have arrived

and I can't sleep. It's around five o'clock my time, need to be asleep. The long flights and layovers gave me lots of room to think and I should get it all out now, but I just can't..maybe tomorrow.




The movie Miss March blows, cool comedic relief...not.

Job

interview in around an hour, I am officially done slinging wings and beer...so over being female.

Last night I had the house to myself, I miss being content on my own/with my dog. I miss not having to worry about anything aside from what I'm going to read next or what movie I'll rent. Things were just simpler because I only had myself to let down and no one else could ruin my good time...or not good time, just whatever I had going on. I've been in between with leaving my phone off perched on my desk or on inside of my grasp. I think the first does me some good, I can actually get through a chapter or sketch. I'm so weird, when I have someone around I don't like doing anything creative...I guess I'm so private about that, I always have been...even when I was nominated for art shows I just couldn't bring myself to let anyone aside from my teacher see things...same went for writing. When I took an extra Lit class my junior year my teacher was up my ass about sending things in and I refused, so she'd do it anyway. I'm just an odd bird. I leave for Portland on Monday in the afternoon, I'm trying to see how much it would be to just leave Sunday. Then it's eleven days of one of my favorite places to call home, I wish I could just leave tonight.

I'm aiming for thrift store browsing before work tomorrow, would be nice. I haven't done anything solo in what seems like forever, though I know it's only been some months. My brother's getting married at the end of September and I'm going to be an aunt, it still is so trippy to think about. We are all growing up...Matthew has his license, still can't get over that. Taylor's a sophomore in high school, Elizabeth is in law school..she has so much under her belt she has always been one to take on any task given to her. Jesse, well I can not wait to see Jesse on Monday he's seventeen now, built like a man with a deep voice to boot...and seems to be riding my coat tails in the witty department. I miss my dad more than I like to think about, it kills me being this far from home. Soon I'll be back though, maybe sooner than I've been planning..who knows. My head is on straight and I've got nothing but support. My nails are like a gold yellow color making typing so fun for me. I'm glad Kelly and I have become friends, she's like a life counselor for me. Haha and I'm the annoying kid sister needing her problems fixed.

Ironically

enough, I just recieved this text.

"google map my house and click street view."

My xterra is in the picture next to his focus, that means we were both inside of the house when the picture was taken. Meaning we were probably laid up on the couch watching tv eating food he would make me. I hope that picture was on one of our good days, I've just been pretending it was. I forgot how big the house was, sometimes I forget I lived there.
http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&tab=wl&q=108%20Crown%20Walk%20Mcdonough%2C%20GA%2030253



I am at a loss for words when it comes to the nitty gritty. I just feel vile and crying has made it better. This day already started out off, hearing that people aren't what I thought added to my displeasure in this Wednesday. Then getting that text sent me off the edge.


Portland. Portland. Portland. Hurry up and get here Monday so I can fly away.

blast off

I haven't blogged and in all honesty I don't know what to blog about.
I need to picture blog.



uhhhhhhhh, I suck. I miss Atlanta like insanely. I just doodled Milo's name for close to fifteen minutes before I realized that I was in fact doodling my dog's name. I suck. Today I texted Edward with the following, " I wish Milo could text." I in all honestly do. I leave for Portland on the 18th...Eddie leaves for Philly on the 14th, gets back on the 17th....we have like a week in august together..and then like a day. Will be weird. This will be the longest I've been away from my dog, when I went to Fort Walton for a week I was in tears by the second day wanting to go home because I missed him. Portland is going to break me. But I am ridiculously excited for West Coast seafood.....totally a fat girl, zero care. I have a layover in Atlanta on the way, will feel kind of good. hahaha. I can not wait for Washington's beaches....boulders, actual sea life on the beach, feels nice with a hoodie of course. I get to see my mom and brother far less than my Georgia family. I wish I could combine all of them in one little area and live, wish in one hand and shit in the other...see which one fills up faster.

I love my new phone. I was a little freaked out about decisions other people were making, but I figured out it isn't mine...people have to learn and who I am to say what is right for them just because it's wrong for me. keep that mentality, or trying to.

Went to Orlando today....ate some bomb ass cupcakes. I was in a mood so I had everyone in hysterics...I hate myself sometimes. coyote.

I've been twittering, fuck whoever thinks it sucks. I do it rarely but I like keeping up with everyone so buh. and it's easier to complain on there.

" Look. I don't want to fight with you. I hate it. Shit in the past means nothing to me unless it involves you. I like being with you Jill. You make me so happy."

Boyfriend brag, sue me. You know we never ever really fight...that wasn't even anything just be being annoyed. One of the first things his dad said to me was you'll be lucky to get an I'm sorry..even if it is his fault and he comes by it honestly. But he is always the first to say I'm sorry or take the blame for whatever even if it's nothing and I stirred the pot. He has been pretty amazing. Last night I seriously know I looked disgusting but he had been staring and he just "Bobby you are so pretty." " I love your eyes." To which I replied, ewwww.

hahahahaaha. I guess I'm just not used to someone being like that when I'm with them, I don't know. I don't hate it. We've started our Atlanta fund. St. Augustine on one day off and Orlando the next for a cupcake....and of course the beach and piggies. This is how we will be spending our last week of August together.

I feel like I've blogged a lot. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Portland, see you soon.