im sad.
im just sad.

i cant help or explain it.
everything seems alright, but im just sad.
ive never been into emotions like this.

but i am just sad, thats it.

there is always a pit in my stomach and a knot in my throat.
i laugh to keep from crying.
and its a horrible thing to at one point be comfortable enough to be alone whenever, to enjoy solitude and now when im alone i cry.
i cry?
what the hell.
i just i get sad.
not about one thing in particular but about everything and nothing at the same time.
just sad.
and i pray for a car accident to take me out.
i dont want to do harm to myself or anything.

it just, it takes everything in me not to imagine some kind of car accident or wreckage and im in the middle of it.
i need to stop driving.

i need to visit my mom.
anxiety has set in, the winter months bring nothing but this.