recap

of my drunken escapade to become a pro longboarder. FML
I see something with wheels while intoxicated, must try out.
I am a notorious clutz while impaired, lake house...fell down a flight of stairs...toppled would be more appropriate, got up after gave a thumbs up and my tongue out for a picture. I can be a real party animal when in the mood. (did I mention photogenic?) Anyway, it's just how I do..wake up with some bumps and bruises the next day and I know I had fun...pics or it didnt happen. Well last night I was just minding my own business in Port Orange longboarding through the neighborhood, I call dis priss and I'm just drunk yackin then i get going pretty fast and also get pretty distracted and I start toppling. Always elbows first I never land with my wrists, I guess thats from snowboarding. So I have a bloody elbow and I'm like fuck it keep going. I piece by phone back together turn it on to do another drunk dial im sure. Hit a drain and I topple. Feet and ankles are covered in blood...road burn for real. My ankle feels like i just pumped a hammer on it and I am still more concerned with getting back on the board. As I hobble/drag/cry/sloth by way to finding this longboard Jackie pulls up and is like uuuhhh???? i throw the board in...tempted to start crying but I hold it together. Get back, ice pack, ace bandage and a computer. good to go. I wake up this morning to find toilet paper stuck to my open wounds, not fun. and a bag of what WAS frozen peaches in the bed with me.


Because of my hangover I am about to get so upclose and personal with my blogspot.
The events of yesterday;
I leave the skatepark and come to jackies, prior to this I got a route 44 cherry limeade from sonic.....never a good idea. So I'm just driving, once again minding my own business when out of no where mt.Vesuvius goes off via my stomach. I am gripping the wheel and praying to all that is good and holy if this poor bastard from Ohio in front of me goes any slower I will demolish derby is midwestern ass so hard. I call jackie warning her of what is to come, " Jackie I am about to plow through your door and plunder your restroom, stormy nights is a fucking understatement of what is to come." ( stormy nights is the name of her air freshener for the bathroom, btw) She is just laughing and I'm like no seriously you don't get it, I'm about to explode in my leggings, I will more than likely come barreling in there steering wheel in hand I dont think I can release the grip. Get here, she has a friend over who tries to talk to me and as I'm running for the bathroom I manage to mumble as I throw my keys "thats my dog watch him for me." I text Jackie during the eye of the storm when all is calm and it says and I quote " i just gave birth via my ass."

Needless to say, when hung over I am not lady like...sorry and all that shit.

p.s. rob dyrdek if youre reading this, excuse me?