I'm

kind of in a bummed mood, like super bummed.


I'm taking state boards soon, not really worried about those at all. Been doing hair out of the house for extra cash. nbd.

But still feel so fucking backwards. I know I want to be in Florida, I just love Florida ( despite everyone telling me the amount of sketchiness that comes from there will eat me) I can be kind of sketchy, I'll fit in. I'm a complete beach bum and I could live in the sun. But I know no one down there, actually I know like two people. Eddie and Lauren and some of Eddie's friends. But I'm not living in Daytona and the recession is hitting south FL pretty fucking hard, homes and boats are being snatched up. There is about to be no flow there at all. I just want to live at the beach with my dog. period, that's all I want. I may have to settle for the northwestern beach though. What a fucking bummer, like it's pretty and I miss the northwest...but it's so dreary. I don't do well in dreary. But it'll be free, and it really is incredibly progressive there. I could start new, just new city new everything. The shopping is intense there, I'd finally be near my mom and brother. Could be nice, just scary and lonely. Haha, I guess not much difference from here except I'll finally be in a new city. My mom has a bike for me, haha. Everyone's on bike there, no fucking traffic. I don't know I'm just so blah about everything. I'm doing that thing where I sink into the small town scenery. Just being content with podunk. I don't have any major problems that moving would just solve. I just I don't know. I'm just at this point where I don't want to be completely grown and settled ( which I shouldn't anyway) anyway, I want to do whatever I'm about to do while I'm young. Hence moving. I wish I had family in Florida, I mean I kind of do. but eh.

It's funny when someone deletes you off some internet site like three different times, when all three times you became friends with them in the first place was because they asked. bitch, take a nap.

It annoys me when fashion magazines have you aiming to spend a fortune on clothes, which I get I have an addiction when it comes to shopping.....but then they have the hair portion, and they are all talking about box color and some bogus products. Like seriously? I don't know gets under my skin. Speaking of I am a total creep in the hair aisles, and I always make sure there isn't any Aveda diverted product because that is a total crime. Anyway I was on Target online playing Aveda police...what did I find, Smooth Infusions and Pure Abundance. They only had the shampoo and not a lot of them.....which salon went against regulation when they closed and sold it to them??!?!?!?!!!!11 we will catch you!

Listened to an old ass Good Charlotte cd...october reminds me of..................all the seasons of your love. never gets.

I'm in a bad mood. I don't understand the term "play cousins" I think I have a lot. I've become retarded like, I'm about to get upfront and personal with you blogspot.com, I feel like I'm the biggest I've ever been. I know I eat like shit, and I can't fucking stop granted I eat like a meal and a half a day. But that sweet tooth will get me. I get the olga joke now, it's about my fat fucking ass. haha. I have just become obsessed with how disgusting I look. Someone pay for my lazy asses lipo plzzz. Or borrow my saddle bags to ride your fucking horse. Maybe ask my tummy for a tuck? I don't know.

I'm watching Beauty Shop, a smile seriously hasn't left my chubby cheeks. Don't care, love this movie.

This post has taken like four hours I keep leaving the tab up and forgetting about it because I get distracted. So I think it's a novel of a post. FML right?

just wasting my energy.